For most of my life, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I've had lots good friends, but always just felt kind of "alien" to everyone. Even in my family, I always felt like I was different, like I didn't belong with them. I remember as a pre-teen, asking my mom if I was adopted because I felt like I wasn't like my siblings or parents. I didn't really feel like I fit in as I was, so I made myself into someone who would look like they fit into whatever group I was a part of. I always thought something was intrinsically wrong with me. I was always worried that someday the jig would be up; everyone would realize I was an imposter and reject me.
Knowing how it feels to believe one doesn't belong anywhere, I want people in my sphere of influence to feel like they are valuable and important, just as they are. I'll admit, it's really not effortless! As a shy introvert, I find it hard to reach out and invite people in sometimes. But I guess the learned skill of remaking myself has come in handy in this case! I'd rather others feel welcome around me than uncomfortable, so I try to push past my own discomfort and include people in whatever group I'm a part of.
I've never really thought about the blessing behind feeling like I don't belong; it's always been a sad thing for me. But looking at it now, I feel like it's been something that God has redeemed by making me into someone who tries to include others and make them feel welcome. I love seeing how God makes beauty out of the ashes of the difficult parts of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment